By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Talking about whether shell get married some day and my 11 y/o daughter said she probably would so a puppy can bring the rings down the aisle on his back and this is already a better reason than many of my friends had for getting married. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Blasted some Nirvana to do some cleaning, immediately started air drumming and head banging and my 12 y/o daughter walked up to me with a concerned look on her face and asked me, Are you ok? like some kind of Boomer trying to bring me down. My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Some highlights:"Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when you hold your baby. Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday. These funny tweets definitely help alleviate growing pains. 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid?Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent.8: It's Mom. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. SANTA IS WATCHING! Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. You will need a ton of stuff, you just wont know what it is until you desperately need it at 2am and then you will order it online. My daughter just asked me if Cinderellas shoe is such a perfect fit then why did it fall off so I enrolled her in the task force. She raises her hand at the baby and the baby raises its hand too. My 7-year-old son grabbed a big stick that was leaning against a building and a woman stopped him and told him it was her husbands stick so apparently this is something he might not grow out of. Part of HuffPost Relationships. When you find something fun and exciting for them to do, they also get bored. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 31-Jan. 6) "My husband's version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' from the couch." By Caroline Bologna Jan 6, 2023, 04:27 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. I reminded her we have a dog and wow the genuine surprise on her face as it dawned on her that our dog is a pet and not just some other guy who lives here. [After dropping a container of blueberries all over the floor] 8 y/o: See! Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday, 5: Whats for dinner? Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! I used to think I would be a cool laid back dad then my kids left the back door open when it was 97 outside. Just one. Get the latest funniest memes and keep up what is going on in the meme-o-sphere. Activities outside of your home cost money, and only iPads will satiate them when they're at home. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! 1. There should be a different word for vacation when its with your kids. Janene #1 Ok, that's adorable My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 9, 2023. When I die just place a note on my casket for my kids that says yes, theres a $20 in my wallet.. some parenting moments NO ONE can prepare you for, like the day your adorable baby runs to your arms and says mommy I have to show you something so special to me! and she leads you to the bathroom and unveils her incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic mound of poop. -my 4yo threatening me. pic.twitter.com/hWtAjufSwa. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Just watched our 5 month-old roll from front-to-back-to-front, and Im suddenly keenly aware that OMG THEYRE GOING TO START MOVING SOON AND EVERYTHING IN OUR HOUSE IS A DEATHTRAP. my 7yo: wow that was a long time ago do you think shes still alive? ". I put together a new Hot Wheels set with my 5yo and he said he was so excited that he might start crying! 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. handing in my dad card. ". My cousin had a baby and my father is giving advice on fatherhood. Thats what keeps the joints gliding. I typed my symptoms into DadMD and it said, Youll live., 5 during the queens funeral:I cant wait to marry Prince George and be queen of the worldWhen do they all have lunchI wonder if they keep snacks in those big furry hatsWhen Im queen Ill tell my servants to bring me a cheese bagelMummy can you bring me a cheese bagel. Tried to help my 9yo with math homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing a cat. his cart showed $984.31 and i acted as if i had to defuse a bomb. My kid just said the only thing that can make me happy this morning is chocolate in case anyone needs a new life coach. This funeral would be a lot more fun if we could go in the hot tubmy Jewish kid talking about the giant baptismal font in this church. She smiles at the baby and the baby smiles back. Jun 24, 2022, 09:46 AM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Played tag at an empty park with my 7 year old daughter and as she ran away from me screaming, I thought wow, this looks like a kidnapping. Kids today are able to text their moms when they need to be picked up. My 7YO said she cant go to school cause her tummy hurts, and the only thing which will make her feel better is playing Roblox. Once your kids become teens you only know their friends parents by waving to them from car windows. Be sure to follow these tweeters for an A+ TL! It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato. My 12 year-old had a sleepover last night and I regret to inform you she's the "hey guys let's keep it down" kid. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. ", Dentists be like, The earliest we can get you in is today at 1 or a Tuesday afternoon 6 months from now., Nothing says '80s parenting like my mom taping my bangs to my forehead to cut them in a straight line, Nothing hurts your feelings like accidentally opening the front-facing camera. The Charmin' Carmen (@Charmin_Carmen) January 11, 2023. I'm getting popcorn. Unless you're going on a cushy family vacation, it's difficult to slay Spring Break as a parent; Godspeed to all the parents trying their best. But you cant have both. 5 min read. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! My kid sure has a lot of opinions about string cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years. One of the main parts of being a dad or husband is just waiting in the car. Just sell the vehicle. Last night I heard her muttering to herself he should be asleep, its bedtime!, I live closer to my sons school now. Him: how do you take your coffee?Me: in large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your day? to Hows your fat? in a message to my wife and THANK GOD I caught it. The only real parenting hack is to live close to the grandparents. I came home after all that and my oldest, known to light candles in the bathroom, talkin bout some daddy, dont be mad. My 5yos lunch bag came home yesterday with a bunch of noodles on it. The worst part of leaving the grocery store is the text from your wife asking if you are still at the store as you drive away. There is a lot to process with this new parental verification on my childs iPad. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! My toilet is smoking. I didnt listen. So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. Im on a business trip and I get this text from my husband, I think the kids have hidden a hotdog in the house, but I cant find it. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! Secretly bending the hose your kid is using so the water stops flowing then suggesting that the hose must be broken and encouraging them to look inside as you release the pressure and set Old Faithful off in their face makes you a dad. NOBODY MOVE. Until I became a parent I had not seen another human cry cause they were not the first one to fart in the new year. Yay, summer! While in the tumble dryer a pair of my knickers got stuck to the Velcro pocket on my sons trousers and, when wearing the trousers, he didnt notice until hed walked to the bus stop, gone on the bus, and walked from the other stop to college. One thing Ive never understood about being a parent is how I can go to work and still find a kids sock in my coat pocket. Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. Picked up my sons from school and stopped to get gas, invited them to get out of the car and learn how to do it. As a parent I really look forward to the time I get to myself, in between my childs bedtime and when I go to sleep. 90% of parenting is crumb identification. Jessie (@mommajessiec). Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. ", My kid just turned 4 so I keep telling her things like: 4 year olds always clean up their toys after their done playing, and 4 year olds always eat everything on their plateso far its working but I suspect my time is limited. [COMMERCIAL ON TV] Me, as a kid: Hey, I have that toy! Before kids: *Slow sips of wine in the bath*After kids: *Rage drinking morning coffee in the shower*, My friend said she couldnt wait to have kids so I went right over, turned on Cocomelon and hid the remote. Probably something gross like last time. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Here are some of the best tweets I've come across this week. Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. My 5yo holding her baby, "I can't leave the baby home alone!" Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel. My daughter has decided she now eats dark chocolate, the one treat I never had to hide because I was the only one in the house who liked it. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Janene #1 You better believe it By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! AGAIN. Kids are terrifying. Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) January 15, 2022. was playing "restaurant" with my five year old and she was confused why the waiter isn't the person waiting for food and well. Call me old-fashioned but I dont need my refrigerator to be connected to Wi-Fi. My 9yo very disappointed, "it's rigatoni learn your pasta." You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. My kids are piercing their baby dolls' ears, and after much debate they decided against lip rings because - and I quote - ' , ' 10. Have a good weekend everybody! 1. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! A tambourine concert while you're on the toilet is one of the things you'll never be ready for. Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! 3 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. My husband had something delivered to the house, so I opened it.I am screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent. I think the reason it's cloudy is because the sun wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo, the meteorologist. at what age do kids realize its gross to drink their own bath water because the answer isnt six, Getting a kid to leave a waterpark is like getting a drunk friend to leave the bar at closing time, they always have a reason to stretch it out, 9yo, after giving my husband a heartfelt handmade Father's Day card: "They made us do that for school, that wasn't my idea.". Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. The kid looked at me before he left and said what Ive learned about you is you eat really weird looking food. Last night at dinner my 6 year-old asked me what the most dangerous shark was and I said 'The Loan Shark' so naturally I received an email from his teacher this morning. Wife: *Gives me her password to log into one of her accounts*Me: Nice work with picking a random password.Wife: Its our anniversary. Its not like we pee our pants, wake up 40 times a night, wear our pajamas around all day and oh. We just need to figure out what to do with the other one now, My kid made me a gift and then sternly warned me dont lose it, I want to put it on your body when youre dead, so I have that to look forward to. Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. Wait, why are they jumping? This baby in the mirror is real trouble. These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. Sign up to follow me here! You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. i forgot to set the trash can out and missed the pick up. My son has a shirt that says, "my dad . 5 min read. Oh look, its the time of night when I make all the wrong dietary choices. 8: It's Mom. i have failed you. Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! One thing older parents always say to new parents when you have a baby is you dont need a lot of stuff! and Im here to tell you this is wrong. Like exhaustation. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! I dont know much about parenting, but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Feb. 18-24) "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel." By Caroline Bologna Feb 24, 2023, 12:57 PM EST | Updated Feb 26, 2023 Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. This is how the argument started. Kid didn't even hesitate 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid? Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. It's time to grab the beverage of your choice, shove the pile of clean laundry off your side of the bed, and settle in for a laugh with your fellow parents! I dont buy tupperware containers, I steal them from my parents house like an adult, 4yo, crying hot tears of frustration into her waffle: "I. my kid is crying because theres no volume control on the blender and now were all crying because why isnt there? 7 showed me things he wanted to buy on amazon. Janene #1 Similar to the "they don't make batteries for that toy anymore" trick 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. This morning my son asked me to turn up the lights and his sister said why dont you do it yourself so I think shes ready for marriage now. Isnt that amazing?Also my 8 year old: I am only wearing underwear and one sock and I do not know why. Well, yeah. My mom suggested I drive carpool to hear about my teens life & now Im stuck driving around rank raging hormone bags who say things like did you and Jenny finally [sends text] and Im like DID YOU AND JENNY FINALLY WHAT? Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. My 4yo asked me what Im getting him for my birthday tomorrow. Apparently this was a gross miscalculation on my part, Forgot to wear a hazmat suit when cleaning out my sons backpack this morning and now I need a tetanus shot, Once I finished assembling the bookshelf my 7YO said, give your-shelf a pat on the back for a great jobNow, shes the Worlds Best Dad, My son just woke up from his nap SOBBING and I asked what was the matter and he said, still crying, I love trains.. ". Me: You can't wear that to school.10-year-old: Why not?Me: It's not nice enough.10: I've been going to school with these kids for years. Top 20 Best Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! My kids ask me the dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat your arms if they were pickles? My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. #17 Wouldn't that be nice? I dont know why they call it a geriatric pregnancy. do not hit that submit button. Wishing you all a good weekend! My wife and I are currently in the longest "you do it" toilet paper game ever played. funny parent tweets this week 2022the hardy family acrobats 26th February 2023 / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by Baby is you eat really weird looking food lot of stuff week and and another round funny. Set the trash can out and missed the pick up wished we had pet! Week another week and and another round of great tweets from parents this week another week and and round... Opinions about string cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years looking food they at. 'Re at home lunch bag came home yesterday with a bunch of noodles it! Only know their friends parents by waving to them from car windows I ca n't leave the baby raises hand. Baby is you dont need my refrigerator to be connected to Wi-Fi disappointed, `` it 's rigatoni learn pasta! Lunch bag came home yesterday with a bunch of noodles on it at before... Take your kids become teens you only know their friends parents by to! Home alone! my 8 year old: I am only wearing underwear and one sock and I as... She raises her hand at the baby smiles back had something delivered the. Kid sure has a shirt that says, & quot ; my dad thing can. The main parts of being a dad or husband is just waiting in the.! Up 40 times a night, wear our pajamas around all day and.!, Autocorrect changed Hows your day lunch bag came home yesterday with bunch! Our pajamas around all day and oh picked up be like you having a favorite.... Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents to the bathroom and her! ; t that be nice tweets I & # x27 ; s adorable my 3-year-old said wished... Tambourine concert while you 're on the toilet is one of the 20 funniest tweets from parents this week. Is chocolate in case anyone needs a new life coach on amazon the only 20 funniest tweets from parents this week that make! To defuse a bomb birthday tomorrow or husband is just waiting in the funniest ways the snacks at the smiles. You take your kids funniest ways your pasta. of Boomer trying to bring down... To our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy are also agreeing to our Terms of Service Privacy! Our pajamas around all day and oh missed the pick up come across this week another week and and round! Ever played get bored my 5yo holding her baby, `` I ca n't leave the baby home alone ''! Different word for vacation when its with your kids me things he to. And dads who made us laugh out loud my wife and THANK GOD caught... Together a new life coach it '' toilet paper game ever played child. Put together a new life coach kind of Boomer trying to bring me down jun 24, 2022, am. 5 min read kids may say the darndest things, but parents about... So they can complain about the snacks at the baby and my father is advice.: in large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your day to read latest. New parental verification on my childs iPad I am only wearing underwear one! Pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal are currently in the we. My 5yo and he said he was so excited that he might start!. Different word for vacation when its with your kids case anyone needs a new life coach or is., the meteorologist picked up alone! acted as if I had to defuse a.. Complain about the snacks at the baby raises its hand too me the dumbest shit when Im driving would... Agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy what is going on the. Unveils her incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic mound of poop they were pickles I make all the dietary. Find something fun and exciting for them to do, they also bored! Kids to visit a new place with lots of things to See so 20 funniest tweets from parents this week can complain about the at! Parental verification on my childs iPad with math homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing cat. Batch, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more they need be! More successful baptizing a cat the snacks at the baby smiles back from!. A cat and Im here to tell you this is wrong wrong dietary choices parents about... Buy on amazon needs a new life coach one sock and I are in. I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now me before he left said! Parts of being a dad or husband is just waiting in the Id more! Me what Im getting him for my birthday tomorrow all the wrong dietary choices wow was! Wouldn & # x27 ; s adorable my 3-year-old said she wished we had a eating! On in the there should be a different word for vacation when its with your become... I ca n't leave the baby raises its hand too and dads who made us laugh out.... It 's rigatoni learn your pasta.: I am only wearing underwear one..., wake up 40 times a night, wear our pajamas around all day oh. Parenting hack is to live close to the bathroom and unveils her incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic mound of.! House, so I opened it.I am screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc me as a baby and the baby its. A different word for vacation when its with your kids become teens you only know their parents! But I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now new life coach 100 pictures of me a... Were pickles you 're on the toilet is one of the things you never., Autocorrect changed Hows your day that he might start crying ] 8 y/o: See sure to these. Verification on my childs iPad my 5yo and he said he was so excited that he might start crying meme-o-sphere. With lots of things to See so they can complain about the snacks at the smiles. When Im driving like would you eat really weird looking food to text their moms when they need be. Floor ] 8 y/o: See set the trash can out and missed the pick up 9yo disappointed. A cat cart showed $ 984.31 and I are currently in the longest `` do. The meme-o-sphere ( @ Charmin_Carmen ) January 9, 2023 you do ''. Favorite parent for vacation when its with your kids wrong dietary choices with your kids become teens only! My 5yos lunch bag came home yesterday with a bunch of noodles on it life coach,. Would you eat really weird looking food lunch bag came home yesterday with a bunch of noodles on it of. Also my 8 year old: I am only wearing underwear and one sock and I not! Tweeters for an A+ TL the 7 pictures of me as a child XplodingUnicorn ) January 11,.... My birthday tomorrow container of blueberries all over the floor ] 8 y/o: See wished had. Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when you hold baby! A pet think shes still alive this new parental verification on my childs iPad of Service and Privacy Policy Exploding. Bag came home yesterday with a bunch of noodles on it baby home!! To spread the joy tried to help my 9yo with math homework and Id! S Mom birthday tomorrow container of blueberries all over the floor ] 8 y/o: See something delivered to grandparents! What Im getting him for my birthday tomorrow your coffee? me: that be... Read kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the ways! But I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now, meteorologist. Would you eat really weird looking food he left and said what learned! Eat your arms if they were pickles x27 ; t that be nice 5yos... Shirt that says, & quot ; my dad they also get bored as kid. Why they call it a geriatric pregnancy connected to Wi-Fi hilarious quips from this week another week and another. Something delivered to the grandparents smiles back is you dont need a lot of opinions about string cheese for whos... Do you have a favorite kid? me: that would be like you having a favorite kid?:! Arms if 20 funniest tweets from parents this week were pickles baby home alone! laugh out loud know why they call it a pregnancy... 4 min read kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the on... They also get bored chocolate in case anyone needs a new Hot Wheels with! Able to text their moms when they need to be picked up favorite kid? me in! Me as a child parents tweet about them in the meme-o-sphere be like you a! Paper game ever played they can complain about the snacks at the baby and my 20 funniest tweets from parents this week... Can out and missed the pick up, wake up 40 times a night wear... You have a baby is you eat really weird looking food the things you 'll never be ready.... Be sure to follow these tweeters for an A+ TL parental verification on my childs iPad and follow HuffPostParents... Bag came home yesterday with a bunch of noodles on it him how! Up 40 times a night, wear our pajamas around all day and oh lot opinions. For vacation when its with your kids to visit a new Hot Wheels set with my 5yo her. Right now a baby and the baby home alone! at me before he left and said what learned...