I love her so much and I would do anything in the world for her. 3. After what has felt like an absolute eternity to everyone else (and probably you, too), youve finally welcomed your newborn baby. Still, they are vulnerable to certain safety and health risks, including accidents and infections. And really, if you're so paranoid that visitors might bring germs, I had a SIL like that about her newborn son, though understandably t. First all thanks for all of the responses. Let us know anonymously here! Also, know that there often are compromises to be made that can make everyone happy. Let us know anonymouslyin our survey hereand well put it to the real-life experts: your fellow mums and dads. Sometimes, tough calls have to be made. That's why this mother's decision to not let anyone touch her baby for the first month of it's life is causing some serious controversy. It made me so happy to see people we love hold our babies and love them enough that they wanted to hold them. AITA: for not letting my partner's family hold my child? Should I cut down on her baths. Just make sure to protect Babys delicate skin by keeping them out of the sun or putting on a sun hat to shield them from the suns harmful rays. Arriving unannounced. When anyone came over, I tried to politely sit and talk with them while also having to lock myself in my bedroom every hour or so to breastfeed and pump. The latter occurred for one dad as he welcomed his first son and chose not to let family members hold the baby . Ultimately, it's up to you to decide who gets to touch your newbornand even who gets to be close enough to breath on them. For one thing, their partners are more likely to help out. If you take your baby outside of your home, insist that others near you wear a mask. Required fields are marked *. And dad can help out with stroller walks, diaper changes, housework, and other things as well, to help you feel less overwhelmed. Have a parenting question youd like some other mums and dads to weigh in on? I don't mind family holding baby. 2010-2023 Parenting.FirstCry.com. Aarohi Achwal holds a bachelors degree in Commerce and a masters degree in English Literature. Grandparents are not allowed to spend all their time staring at the baby. Her Dr. actually told us to be paranoid b/c if a newborn gets a A grandmother-to-be worries that tension with her daughter-in-law will keep her from her grandchild. This is the most traditional hold and the one most moms try first. Hold your baby horizontally to the chest level by sliding one arm under the head and the neck and the other under the bottom and the hips. There are many psycho-educational programmes on offer that can boost your skills and capacities for self-awareness and confidence building; aware.ie and grow.ie are two. Try not to expose your newborn (less than one month of age) to more people than necessary, and avoid all people with infectious diseases like colds and the flu! We would never deprive our parents from holding their grandbaby though (as long as they are not sick of course). The 7 Best Pacifiers for Newborns of 2023, The 45 Best Gifts for New Parents of 2023, Promising Pfizer RSV Vaccine for Pregnancy May Protect Newborns. SheKnows is a part of Penske Media Corporation. Those super small onesies. When Can You Let Visitors Hold Your Newborn Baby? policy. Their feet should land on either side of your hand, angled closer to the ground so the baby is at a . . created content and their own posts, comments and submissions and fully and effectively warrant Otherwise, outdoor visits, weather permitting, are a much safer alternative to indoor . To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. Healthy newborns don't need cereal, water, juice or other fluids. Regardless, only you get to decide what safety protocols to follow for keeping your newborn safe. Forget uncle/aunt stuff.we are talking grandparents. They may prefer that grandparents help with housework, pets, or older children. Police leading the search for a missing two-month-old baby have sought an extension of 36 hours to continue questioning their parents. We told our It's a brand new baby and they're still in the hospital. Germs and bacteria that may seem harmless to us are quite dangerous for your baby as their immunity is not fully functional yet. spinal tap (to rule out meningitis I think) - not something that I want Yoghurt. To embed this post, copy the code below on your site, 600px wide Dr. William Schaffner, MD, an infectious disease expert and Professor of Preventive Medicine in the Department of Health Policy as well as Professor of Medicine in the Division of Infectious Diseases at the Vanderbilt University School of Medicine, Nashville, TN, Dr. Leah Alexander, MD, FAAP, a pediatrician, Dr. Harvey Karp, MD, a pediatrician, and author of the best-selling parent guides Happiest Baby on the Block & Happiest Toddler on the Block, Expert Advice For Managing A 12 Month Sleep Regression, The 4 Month Sleep Regression: Survival Tips From Baby Sleep Experts, The 18-Month Sleep Regression: Expert Advice To Get You Through, The 8-10 Month Sleep Regression: Expert Advice To Get You Through It, What Parents Are Talking About Delivered Straight To Your Inbox, By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Should you let them? We were only there for 15 minutes, they made us and the his dad and his wife uncomfortable too. In-laws may not see any reason to callyou are family after all, they think. Keep a hand under your newborn's head to make sure it's supported. Everyone we know understands. Little things like uploading a profile picture make the community a better place. Show children how to support the head and neck. Maybe then we would have felt less overwhelmed. I resisted the urge to be rude and demand to have my baby back. Parenting.Firstcry.com accepts no liability for any errors, omissions or misrepresentations. Tired babies are often fussy. Come up with a couple of general purpose lines to fob people off, and dont mind anyone who complains. As newborns get older, they'll nurse less often and have longer stretches between feedings. around. If you ask an overwhelmed parent what you should do, you're simply giving the parent another thing to think about. She wanted to be in the delivery room with me but I refused to let her, my husband said he'd keep her out of the room under the condition that she be the 1st person to hold the baby. Physical distancing is one of the most important ways to reduce the spread of COVID-19. June 22, 2012 - heard the heartbeat 9w1d 181 BPM!! You are not over-protective, since you allow family and friends who I presume know to wash their hands and do not ask when they have a cold themselves to hold her. Were very close with our families, and we wanted them nearby. We are so blessed to have this little family. But when everyone left, I felt a sense of relief to just be alone with my little, I thought maybe I would feel better when I was home, in a more comfortable setting, having spent a few days getting to know my daughter. EDD January 24, 2013 6. Not everyone is going to agree with you and you'll make some people mad, but they will get over it. Keep your baby away from anyone who is ill with diarrhoea and vomiting, coughs, colds, or flu. But before you extend an invitation, you should try to hold off at least a month or more. I have never been so overwhelmed and terrified but also full of love at the same time. Likewise, new parents usually are very enthusiastic about wanting to show off their new little loves. Dont put your little baby at risk because you are embarrassed to set a limit to keep the hordes of well-meaning baby-gawking friends away for a few months, says Dr. Karp. The Journal supports the work of the Press Council of Ireland and the Office of the Press Verywell Family's content is for informational and educational purposes only. Side note- I have the same situation, I have one specific person who I don . 1. Anyone who plans to visit a newborn should be immunized against pertussis, and, when in season, influenza, advises Dr. Alexander. Catie. Today, social media is everything. We are skipping all of the holiday events this year and pretty much not letting anyone meet the baby for now. Do I Have Postpartum Blues or Postpartum Depression? No judgements either way just looking to see what people's views are .. All of my excitement about showing my daughter off was slowly fading. Things to Keep in Mind Before Letting Visitors Hold the Baby, How to PolitelyTell Visitors to Keep Their Hands Off Your Baby, Why Green Peas Are the Perfect Food During Pregnancy, Tooth Fairy Story Encourage Children to Brush, Floss and More, 170 Baby Boy & Girl Name That Mean 'Gift from God', 600+ Unique & Cute Nicknames for Boys & Girls, Protecting Adolescents From Common Food and Waterborne Diseases, Why an Ideal pH 5.5 is Important for a Newborns Skin, Baby or Toddler Waking Up Too Early - What You Can Do. They knew we were coming, we were watching their house/pets for them. While we can't control for public exposure, like taking an infant to the grocery store, parents can ask. In the 1950s, stays of one week to 10 days were standard. Also, ask anyone with a cold or other infection to wait to visit your baby until they are symptom-free, advises Dr. Hasson. Then she passes by that little baby face, and . PH: (01) 6489130, Lo-Call 1890 208 080 or email: info@presscouncil.ie. But months later, looking back on that time in my life, I do still wish that I had held back with the visitors. Plus there are a lot of people in our family and almost all of We restricted visits initially. I doubt very much the government are going to announce any time soon that everyone can go ahead and hug no matter how safe it is now in reality so we made our own risk assessment. Can definitely confirm that everything everyone says about the first few days of being a parent is true. Even if friends, family, and neighbors are all vying to be the first to love on your newborn, youre going to have to hold them off for a while, Dr. William Schaffner, MD, an infectious disease expert and Professor of Preventive Medicine in the Department of Health Policy as well as Professor of Medicine in the Division of Infectious Diseases at the Vanderbilt University School of Medicine, Nashville, TN, tells Romper. All rights reserved. Of course, every family has their own experiences, and some bring a child into the world with minimal difficulty. 6. You might not always be able to tell why your newborn is crying. Making babies stress reactive from undercare may be a good way to build an easily distressed personality and create a society of self-concerned folks. people who the baby would be exposed to and there's no where to draw Registered office: 3rd floor, Latin Hall, Golden Lane, Dublin 8. Journal Media does not control and is not responsible for user created content, posts, comments, I might be missing out on a lot of things Im used to doing, but Ive also never felt so blessed. Many grandparents are confused and hurt by these decisions. "For those that want to give baby kisses, the feet and tummy kisses are safest.". Additionally, there is the worry that germs that produce colds, flu, COVID-19 or other illnesses or diseases could be spread to your fragile new baby. Sohere's what you can say: "You're so sweet. family before she was born that we would not be letting anyone hold her Remember that older people may not have much strength, and children usually have no experience holding a baby. By Sarah Vanbuskirk by BeeDH. I should add that we DID let family hold our LO in the hospital (after much hand washing! , Access to the comments facility has been disabled for this user. 2. By Susan Adcox The moment the nurses placed her on my chest, my entire world changed. Bex has felt immense anxiety around coronavirus, which has meant she won't let her family hold her 11-week-old baby (Picture: Bex Renshaw) When you . If you are a visiting grandparent, offer to stay in a hotel when you visit. Or carry your baby in a carrier or . A newborns immune system is its strongest in that first week. If an infant less than one month of age gets a fever (a temperature greater than or equal to 100.4), that child needs to be admitted to . Over the next few hours, we were visited by my parents, my mother-in-law, my brother, future sister-in-law, my sister, and her boyfriend. Recent posts in July 2021 Birth Club. Strategies that Diamond recommends for keeping your baby safe include asking people to wash their hands before holding your child, insisting they wear a mask, not allowing recently sick. So, it is wise to be to limit who you let touch your newborn, says Dr. Ahmed. I come from a large family too and my LO has already been held by more people than I can remember. Stick to your guns! Newborns that get sick are most often hospitalize, My personal opinion is that it is ridiculous to not let healthy family members hold a new baby. I in fact never asked to hold him, only GM and GF did. Newborns, especially premature babies, are more prone than adults to whatever bugs may be going around. Just tell everyone to wait a week or so, my husband said, reminding me that I had just pushed a baby out of my body and needed time to rest. Keep doing what you are doing and dont feel bad about making excuses. As an alternative to in-person meet and greets, try a virtual option. And finally, you want to make sure that, as tempting as it might be, visitors refrain from being too close to your babys face, advises Dr. Harvey Karp, MD, a pediatrician, and author of the best-selling parent guides Happiest Baby on the Block & Happiest Toddler on the Block. No parents, no friends, no visitors. 4. Over the next two days, a few aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins came by. Reasons Why Parents May Prevent Grandparents From Seeing a Newborn. My first few weeks of life with my daughter were over, and I had spent them with other people. 24/06/2020 18:38 Can I have some yes we are no we're not responses please - Is anyone letting their extended family (baby's nans/grandads) hold their newborns / young babies and if so what precautions are you taking ? A major concern is a potential infection (like pertussis) that can be passed onto your infant, Dr. Schaffner explains. For example, if there were a spike in influenza cases where a family member is traveling from, you can find out if theyve had their flu shot or have been feeling ill. The same holds true for vaccination against Covid-19, since infants can also contract the disease, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reported. Everyone has been chomping at the bit to see your baby. I've also told people I don't want anybody kissing him. Please note that The Journal uses cookies to improve your experience and to provide Newborn babies who are getting formula will likely take about 2-3 ounces every 2-4 hours. As recently as the 1970s, postpartum hospital stays averaged four days. The mother may not want visitors when she is not looking or feeling her best, as may be the case after childbirth. It's a balancing act in raising loving children who have their own sense of boundaries. The lucky ones even get paidparental leave. Some expectant parents say that they aren't taking hospital visitors. It can be both tempting and scary to let people touch your newborn baby. Belly hold. But when can visitors see your newborn? However, you also want to keep your baby safe from germs and accidents. But by responding, you let your newborn know that you're always there. But for one Redditor, it was a harrowing moment. Sorry, I registered just so I could ask this question and get feedback. New babies do not have as strong of an immune system as older children and adults do, so they are more prone to developing more serious consequences from getting infections, explains Dr. Hasson. Susan Adcox is a writer covering grandparenting and author of Stories From My Grandparent: An Heirloom Journal for Your Grandchild. I've never understood why people think they are entitle, I think new moms are overly paranoid. Sitting on the hospital bed watching all these other people hold my daughter, I felt waves of sadness wash over me that I couldnt explain. by Babymaker02. I would stay up at night staring at her, praying I hadnt assisted in allowing anything bad to happen to her. I cant look at her without crying happy tears. Listen, as the momma to a newborn, you have every right to demand (thats right, demand) that those who visit your baby are in good health. In cases like this, it is best to have some rules in place for what is allowed when visitors are around your baby. your doctor. Specifically, the swarms of family, friends and complete strangers that always seem to surround little babies. In addition, if grandparents avoid overreacting, the new parents may change their minds, especially when they experience the realities of newborn care. Some people are being understanding, others are not. Parents, on the other hand, may have a mixture of feelings about it. Try stroking your newborn gently when you change a nappy or at bath time. I come from a large family, I have my own son, this seems purposefully cruel. 383. We trust that our parents and siblings would not hold her if they felt sick. 2023 Dotdash Media, Inc. All rights reserved, Verywell Family uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. If he contracts a fever, it means a trip to the emergency room with a resulting sepsis workup, says Sharon Nachman, M.D., chief of the Division of Pediatric Infectious Diseases at Stony Brook Children's Hospital. Its rough at times to be honest and I struggle and feel lonely and disconnected some days. Third-hand smoke (that which sticks to the hair and clothes) is just as dangerous as first and second-hand smoke. It's something that they are doing for the newborn and for themselves. So we did it. The unfortunate truth is that childbirth, to this day, can be a very dangerous ordeal. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts, The latest Irish and international sports news for readers and members, A platform helping fund the type of in-depth journalism that the public wants to see. We just said no visitors at all this time since everyone, im not going to lie, I wish i could stop everyone from holding my baby. Along with continuing concern about exposure to germs, these factors may also enter into their decision: Most grandparents grew up in a time when it was accepted that grandmothers would be on the premises to help new mothers. His son Ryan and. This little squish has kept me from doing a lotttt of things for the last 10 months and especially this summer. This means they need to feed little and often. No one has ever made me happier. The next day, after her first pediatrician appointment, we found out that her jaundice levels were too high and that she would need to be admitted back into the hospital for about 24 hours. And OMG, that heavenly newborn baby smell. and indemnify Journal Media in relation to such content and their ability to make such content, When we asked to hold him (baby) they just said no. Is this reader being unreasonable? And we're not letting any of the kids hold him. They want to see the baby and that's what they intend to do. Babies are very vulnerable to germs and illness. She likes to write research-based articles that are informative and relevant. For example, a young woman meets a man from a higher social class. We always ask people to wash and sanitize before they hold her. 2023 SheMedia, LLC. Well, most of the time. And anyone who wants to get close has to wear a mask. Proper hand hygiene is strongly suggested before holding the baby, so that no outside germs are potentially put on the babys hands, which can wind up in their mouth, advises Dr. Alexander. The practice is soothing and can help prevent babies from startling themselves awake. We are dealing with the same thing right now. Ive also never felt the love that I feel for Sophia. m. moonlitGalaxy. Weve never been so exhausted or so happy! use of this site indicates your agreement to be bound by the Terms of Use. Want to win a copy of psychotherapist Philippa Perrys new book, The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read? Since newborns can't hold up their heads on their own, it's especially important that their heads are supported and their faces aren't trapped against any objects while they are held. Readers like you keep news free for everyone. Most newborns need eight to 12 feedings a day about one feeding every two to three hours. and RollingNews.ie unless otherwise stated. It's something that they are doing for the newborn and for themselves. Anyone else's baby a climber. Some new parents think that they want to be alone with their baby, but change their minds when faced with the reality of caring for a newborn. The good news is that once you're ready for visitors, it's completely fine to let friends and family hold your newborn baby. Did those of you that refused to let anyone hold your baby also not leave the house for 6 we. Users are reminded that they are fully responsible for their own Your little baby and their developing immune system simply aren't ready for germs yet. Will the COVID-19 Vaccine Be Safe for Babies? Everyone Needs to Stop Shaming My Shy Child, Facebook Was the One Thing That Erased My New-Mom Anxiety, The 8 Weirdest Things That Happen To Your Brain After Giving Birth, cocooning, a parenting trend thats been in the news, Madonnas Reportedly Met Her New Boyfriend Through One of Her Sons Low-Key Hobbies, Pregnant Peta Murgatroyd Nails Rihannas Super Bowl Dance With Her Son & Husband, Kim Kardashian Shares the Ups & Downs of Co-Sleeping With Kids in Hilarious Post with Son Saint, Chrissy Teigen Shared a Video of Baby Estis First Kiss & Its Hilarious, 5 Red Flags You Need To Discuss With Your Teen Before They Start Dating. I think it's stupid to not let your parents hold your baby. Make sure to support your baby's head. I love that they wanted to come over right away, I love that our parents were so incredibly helpful, and I realistically know we could not have gotten through those first few days without their assistance. They are creating a protected period for forming a family unit. Since mom herself will be back on her period soon, there's no valid, medically-proven reason that someone's menstrual cycle would cause any harm to a newborn. Your email address will not be published. This may just be the best way to keep all hands off the baby. , A post shared by Jessica Booth (@jboothyy) on Jun 29, 2019 at 12:12pm PDT. I. my daughter, more than I had ever missed anyone and she was only a few feet away from me. Little things like uploading a profile picture make the community a better place. Flu. Am I being unreasonable by not letting other people hold my baby? Then, of course, there was the emotional problem: Every once in awhile, when someone else was holding my daughter, tears would well up in my eyes and I would feel the sudden urge to grab her and walk away. Thanks! Constance Marten and Mark Gordon were arrested on Monday . But the bottom line is that there are three people who should be guaranteed bonding time at and after delivery: you, your partner, and Baby J. It's that threesome that needs to meet, greet, and get to know each other first and foremost. Susan Adcox is a writer covering grandparenting and author of Stories From My Grandparent: An Heirloom Journal for Your Grandchild. "Zoom or skype visits are a good way to introduce baby to the world as well," says Dr. Khan. Of course you're not being unreasonable! She may need to be changed or fed, or simply needs your comfort after being handled by people she doesnt know. Feed your newborn on cue. I'm really really starting to get irked by it, and I wish I had put my foot, The baby isn't a toy. Your I imagined days spent like that one blissful day, just my little family together, no one to interrupt, no one to clean for, nothing to do. In their first two months, newborns are at the highest risk of infection, warns Dr. Hasson. Am I being a bad parent by not letting other people hold my new baby? New mothers would go to stay with a mother or mother-in-law, or a grandmother would go to stay for a period of days or even weeks to help out. You can obtain a copy of the Here's how to keep your baby (and everyone) happy and healthy during those delicious newborn baby visits. Me: unexplained infertility - annovulatory A post on Mumsnet . Often, it is the child's partner who causes the problems, sometimes as a form of revenge. And if our parents would like to continue to clean and make us dinner, hey, I wouldnt say no. My wife won't let me say anything, she wants to write a letter to her brother. I want to make this clear; this is the grandmother and the grandfather of the baby that they would not let hold the baby? Parents have an obligation to ensure their child is safe from potential exposure to disease. Code, or contact the Council, at www.presscouncil.ie, Is it no wonder that everyone is breaking down your proverbial door to snag a sec to snuggle with that delicious baby? At the same time, we need to think about the risk of denying things that are important to us or are necessary, such as not holding a newborn grandchild for the first time or not receiving the family support new parents might need during the postpartum period. Sure, it was the middle of the summer and not flu season, but people still had germs! Cookies collect information about your preferences and your devices and are used to make the site work as you expect it to, to understand how you interact with the site, and to show advertisements that are targeted to your interests.
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